If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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