I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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