if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i think my cat just said my name.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
