i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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