Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
