So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
