In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
