When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
