sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
