come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
