the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
