Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
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