Soap is not a condiment
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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