Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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