We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
