"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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