i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The feeling are messing with the penis
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
