I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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