I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
