even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
