margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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