What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
