I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
