the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
