google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I sprained my soul last night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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