I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His nipple licking is glorious
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