glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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