his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
