Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
