Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
