i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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