People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
