OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
