I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
