i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
