Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
