Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So much rum. So many feels.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
