Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
