buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
