Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
