Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
