she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
