btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
