I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
