If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
