There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
