I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
