office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
