I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
