He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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