I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
