when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
