8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
